After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Your penis caused this!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
