me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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