Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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