so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
