maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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