You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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