God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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