I want to stick my p in your. b.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
