God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
