So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
