i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
