Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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