i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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