he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
