Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize