Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
