"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
