just tell him i said nine months
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Do vagina's smell?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
