Already got asked if we're dating
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
