she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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