he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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