You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
