I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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