i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
