i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
