I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
