Apparently you make a good broom.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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