I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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