Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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