problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
