There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
