I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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