is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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