u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
