you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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