you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
