is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
