How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
