I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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