im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
