It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
