The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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