No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have demons in me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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