dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
