i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
