If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
