I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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