Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
