Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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