Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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