lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize