The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
