the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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