I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
