the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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