how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
