carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize